P - Paper

Paper: thing

Killing trees and production process aside, I really like paper. While fragile, it also seems to have lasting value. Dropping it doesn't destroy it, and it can't be wiped out by an EMP (though fire and water aren't its friends).

P - Prom

Prom: thing, event

I only went to prom my senior year. I went because I wanted an excuse to go to Red Lobster for dinner (because I'm classy). Luckily, I went with a good friend and had a lot of fun (there was a Limo, and, yes, Red Lobster). The theme was "Moondance" like the Van Morrison song, which was very fortunate, as the following year was, I believe, some sort of miserable "Titanic" theme. For after-prom, a few friends came over to my house and we watched "Catch-22".

I've been a Prom Chaperone for the past few years. Until now it's been an easy gig. Wear a Suit, get fed well, sit on a balcony at a country club and prevent kids from getting their Prom Swerve On on the golf-course fairway. This year, though, it's On A Boat in Baltimore.

P - Paint Ball

Paint Ball: activity

I've only played paint ball once in my life. It taught me two things: 1) I'd never make it as a soldier and 2)even though I'm not a huge gun fan, paintball is fun. I didn't have any camo to wear, so I had a bright colored longsleeve tie-dye shirt (the only longsleeves I could wear in the summer). I think I'd like it more if I were only playing with people I knew. I was with a group for a bachelor party, so I knew a lot of the people, but there were also regulars playing (the kinds with their own gear that play all the time) which decreased the fun for me. I'm sure I pissed them off too because I had no idea what I was doing. I also remember getting flanked and being shot in the neck (which left a welt). I think I'd like to do it again sometime.

P - Purple

Purple: thing, color

My friend Scott's called grape juice "Purple Juice" when we were kids. Purple Juice is different from "Purple Drank", which is actually purple flavored (because Grape Candy doesn't taste like grapes. It tastes like Purple). If you mix grape drink and orange drink, you get a flavor called "Grornge"

Purple was my favorite color for awhile when I was younger.

SEE ALSO: grapes, flavor, Football

P - Pets

Pets: thing, animal

My family has mostly had dogs for Pets, but on the whole I've come to realize that I'm not really a Pet person. I'm glad I had some dogs growing up (Rufus, Scruffy, Molly(especially)) and I got enjoyment from them being in my house (even the ones that scared me, or smelled), but I'm also glad that someone else was more responsible for them than me.

Two of the dogs were, non-euphemistically, given to some people with more space/ sent to live on a farm. (unless my Mom is still actively lying to me)

There have also been occasional fish, some birds, and a rabbit, but those were not mine.

I like animals a lot, but I like them in zoos and in books and on TV. I like knowing about them, but not so much cleaning up after them, having to care for them on a daily basis, etc. Pets are not like Children. They don't someday grow up and talk to you, or teach you things, or be Humans, and I don't think not wanting pets is equatable to not potentially being a good parent.

SEE ALSO: Animal shows, Blankets,

P - Pranks

Pranks - action

I haven't pulled a lot of pranks, at least not mean ones. Getting pranked usually just makes me nervous or anxious (like when people hide things, I just worry that I've misplaced them or I've lost my mind).

There were some pretty good pranks that I witnessed, or heard about, at The-camp-I-used-to-be-affiliated-with. Perhaps someday I will record them if I choose not to unremember them.

The best April Fools Day I ever committed was my senior year of High School. I borrowed (my band director) Torm's office phone to call home and tell my Mom that I had to drop band so that I could take Biology and a Foreign Language in order to graduate (Because I didn't do those things in HS). Torm was in the room as I called, and it shocked him. Mom wasn't home, so It was on the answering machine. For some reason my Dad got home first and heard it even before my Mom did (I think). It was, of course, not true, but I had everyone fooled.

SEE ALSO: Band, Biology, Pontoon Boats,

P - Pick

Pick: thing, action

My favorite guitar picks used to be Dunlop Jazz III (round tip). I like them on nylon strings. I tend to horde them and rarely share them. I keep a green jazz-size tortex pick in a secret spot at my mom's house (guarded by a scorpion). I think My brother might know where it is now though, and I might have lost it over christmas break.
I'm generally opposed to using a pick on Bass, but it can sometimes be awesome.


In 7th or 8th grade I was photographed pushing my glasses up with a single finger while sitting on the top bleacher at a school social. Due to the unfortunate angle, it looked as if my finger were inside, rather than adjacent to, my nose. This picture made the yearbook. This was how most people knew me.

One would think that this was the origin of people calling me Nick-it Pick-it, (which they definiately did), but in fact I can recall my elementary school friend (I think it was either Scott or Bobby) singing, to the tune of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star":
Nick -it Pick-it picks his nose / every single place he goes / he picks it up, he picks it down / he picks it all around the town / nick-it pick-it picks his nose / every single place he goes.

SEE ALSO: Guitar, Humiliation,

P - Pokemon

Pokemon: thing, game

I never played the pokemon games. My brother did though (both the Game Boy game and the Collectible Card Game). I guess I did try the card game with him a few times. I think I liked Dodrio the best. I don't really remember.

P - Purpose

Purpose: thing, concept

My purpose in life (beyond, actually probably even 'before,' passing on my genetic code) is to read all 17,000+ Peanuts comic strips in order. Not necessarily in one sitting (at least I don't think so, it might be at one sitting, I'll know when I get there), but in a short period of time. A year or two after I realized that this was my reason for existing Fantagraphics announced that they were publishing The Complete Peanuts in 25 volumes, 2 per year. The Halfway mark is crossed this month. This, then, gives me a timeline for my purposeful existence: I will complete my purpose in March of 2016.

I used to think that my pupose was to listen to every version of the song "Lie in Our Graves" (by Dave Matthews Band) that featured Bela Fleck on Banjo, but the interwebs made that one too easy to accomplish (I did it last september).

SEE ALSO: Peanuts, Minnesota, Comics

P - Peanuts

Peanuts: thing

I like unsalted peanuts better than salted or flavored ones. Though flavored dry-roasted ones are an official food of my Grandpa's cupboard, so I do have some some positive associations with them. I also really like peanut soups of several varieties.

George Washington Carver is a true American Hero.

SEE ALSO: Purpose, comics, incompatibility

P - Politics

Politics: thing

In, I think, 3rd grade I was either president or vice-president of the Stamp collecting club in my class. It didn't last very long, and I wasn't any good at collecting stamps.

In 9th grade someone in civics class convinced me that it would be a good idea to run for class treasurer. I didn't win (which is good), and, in hindsight, I think they were trying to put one over on me.

I was also the Vice-President of Band my senior year. I don't remember exactly what it entailed, but I'm pretty proud of that one.

I wouldn't make a very good politician in general.