I - Ice Hockey

Ice Hockey: thing, sport

I started playing Ice Hockey when I was 4 or 5. I was never very good at it, despite it being in my genes, with both my Dad and my maternal Grandpa playing at the collegiate level. I remember learning to skate pushing a chair, and I remember fondly being out on the ice and going to weekend tournaments (whether I liked it back then, I don't remember). The first team I played for was Wheeler. Our colors were blue and red. I cried until I wet my pants and had to go home when I got my first penalty in Squirt-D (because I didn't do anything wrong! I slipped and my skate hit the other kid's skate. It was ice. Ice is slippery and 5 year olds have no balance). I remember also being so proud that I used a skill that we did in practice in a game. I couldn't figure out why the coaches weren't happy that, when a puck came at me, I effortlessly lifted one foot to glide on one skate and let the puck go under it just like we did for 10 minutes at the practice.

I remember switching to the Piedmont team (Yellow and Blue) for my last two seasons, but I don't remember why. I liked playing on that team, and I think I even scored some goals (okay, so I know that I had 7 goals in my entire official hockey career (and a shut-out, but it was a squirt-d game where everyone took turns being goalie and there were not even pads)). The thing that I liked the most about hockey was being on a team with my friends and getting to play outside, or run around in the arenas. I also remember family fans, and the little yarn pom-pom decorations that the mom's would wear. My grandpa offered to pay 1$ for a goal and .50c for an assist, but I didn't want him to waste his retirement fund on me, so I made sure he didn't have to pay out too often.

In 5th grade I quit hockey because my best friend did and we took up skiing. I don't remember the exact specifics, but I have a feeling it had to do with the fact that in Minnesota they know where you're going to end-up hockeywise by the time you're 5 or 6. I was never going to amount to anything so it was time to be shunted off into permanent rec-league status, while many of my friends would have gotten to be on the coveted "Traveling Teams" and have important tournaments and rigorous practices, and summer hockey. In essence I'd lose what I loved most about hockey, skating and having fun with my friends. I honestly don't remember the win-loss outcome of any game I played, but I remember playing pretty vividly.

I was kind of anti-hockey for awhile (because skiing was king). I got back into it when I moved in 7th grade, mostly from playing NHLPA 93 on my neighbor's SEGA Genesis (go Jagr, go Penguins). Of course I got NHL 94 for SNES (best sports game of all time). Moving also meant living in the Duluth East High School district. The hockey team there was the best in the state for the 4 years I attended (4 trips to the big show, 1 championship, 2nd place, 3rd place and they won it again the year after I graduated), and as a band member, I went to all of them. The East Pep-Band years are their own story, but it was awesome.

In college I considered playing club hockey, but some of the guys on the team (not most of them - really only one) were jerks to me at the one practice I went to (also I had no real equipment, aside from the stuff I borrowed from my dad, and I wasn't good enough to keep up). Instead I just skated on the Bald Spot in the winter (and made a very good friend from doing that), and tried to play Intramural and pick-up when it happened.

I wish that I had played more Pond Hockey when I was younger, but I try to make up for it when I'm home now

Now, in Maryland, I'm the assistant coach of our JV Ice Hockey team (we don't have a varsity), which makes me laugh a little bit, because I'm not even qualified to coach rec hockey in Minnesota. We've one some JV championships, and had teams with boys (and girls) ranging from literal non-skater to guys that went on to play Junior Hockey in Canada. It's an awesome experience, and I think I enjoy it the most because I get to skate and play at our weekly practice (yes, 1 per week), even if I have to drive the bus. It's never a dull team, to watch or coach, and we have awesome fans.

I still use the shin guards that I stole from my Dad that are likely older than I am.

F - Field Hockey

Field Hockey: thing, sport

I never would've been involved in field hockey if I'd been a better trumpet player.

I first encountered field hockey while I was in Bangor, Wales in 1999. I was a bit confused reading the literature for University of North Wales, Bangor when it said that their Mens' Hockey team was some sort of champion, since, to Me, as a Minnesotan, Hockey means Ice Hockey. I almost considered bringing my skates with me.

One of the girls that lived in my corridor was a goalie for the Womens' team, and I went and watched a practice (and also went out with the team afterward). I didnt' understand anything about the sport, other than I thought that it was unfair to lefties that you could only hold the stick right handed.

At the beginning of my senior year of college there were a number of talented Freshman trumpet players. This meant that Jazz band actually held audtions, which meant that I, as a not-so great trumpet player, had some free time fall term. At the club fair I saw some people, including my friend Eddie, hitting around with field hockey stuff. Since Carleton's team was student-coached, co-ed, club, I figured I'd give it a shot to fill the time that Jazz Band was no longer taking up.

I wasn't all that good, but it was a lot of fun. We practiced 2-3 times per week, and, every Saturday, played against a club team from the Twin Cities that was a mixture of old and young American, British, Kenyan and Pakistani men and women. Because I wasn't all that athletic, they put me at defense, which I hated, but through a turn of events, I ended up at forward during a game at a tournament in Chicago and got an assist on a goal that gave us our first win in a few years, and then scored and assisted again in the next game. We had a winning record in the tournament for the first time ever. They let me play forward after that.

Field Hockey was also really fun for the social aspects of it. That's all I'll say here. At our team banquet, I ended up getting the "Rookie of the Year" award (though all of our awards were silly. Mine was a cherry made of construction paper, plus something else).

Fast forward a few years to my Maryland life. Field Hockey actually exists out here, and through a series of events, I became the Junior Varsity coach at my school, and I can honestly say it is my most favorite part of being here. Despite a long string of not very succesful seasons, I still get excited every time we take the field.

M - Moist

Moist: thing, word

I really hated the word "Moist" for a long time. Hated it to the point of becoming physically violent (in a mostly joking way) to people that said it purposefully to bother me. I'm not sure exactly why, but it just creates an uncomfortable feeling.

I didn't enjoy the character in "Dr. Horrible" because of his name (and because his superpower hit a bit close to home for me).

I still don't like the word or use it, but I won't attack you for doing it.

SEE ALSO: Puberty, I-Know-Something-You-Don't-Know, Rules

M - Miles

Miles (Davis): person

When I was in 9th grade my dad gave me a cassette tape of part of "The Miles Davis Radio Project" to listen to. I had been playing the Trumpet (or Cornet) since 7th grade. I listened to it obsessively, beginning with the very significant "Red Wing Debate Tournament Weekend" (which may have been 10th grade). The tape was mostly of 80s Miles, including "New Blues" and "Tutu", both of which rocked my socks off.

That following summer I read his Autobiography (and other biographies) and started my CD collection in earnest. I can remember the exact moment I first listenened to "In A Silent Way" (after returning from a very nice weekend at my friend Laura's cabin in Brainerd), which is my favorite single recorded piece of music of all time. I remember listening to Wayne Shorter's crazy sax run about 13 minutes in to it over and over during the particularly difficult "Concordia Debate Tournament of 11th Grade". I wrote an A+ paper analyzing it for Jazz History in college (the only A+ I've ever gotten)

I now easily have more Miles Davis albums than any other artist. I love every period of Miles. I'd be an Electric Miles apologist, except I don't feel there's anything to apologize for.

I have a sweet t-shirt of Miles looking through his trumpet. I had Grad Pictures taken to match.

I don't agree with all of his personal life choices (like the drug habits, or the way he treated the women in his life), but his music is just too Effing amazing to let those opinions color the his musical legacy.

SEE ALSO: debate, graduation, quotation, In A Silent Way, trumpet

P - Paper

Paper: thing

Killing trees and production process aside, I really like paper. While fragile, it also seems to have lasting value. Dropping it doesn't destroy it, and it can't be wiped out by an EMP (though fire and water aren't its friends).

P - Prom

Prom: thing, event

I only went to prom my senior year. I went because I wanted an excuse to go to Red Lobster for dinner (because I'm classy). Luckily, I went with a good friend and had a lot of fun (there was a Limo, and, yes, Red Lobster). The theme was "Moondance" like the Van Morrison song, which was very fortunate, as the following year was, I believe, some sort of miserable "Titanic" theme. For after-prom, a few friends came over to my house and we watched "Catch-22".

I've been a Prom Chaperone for the past few years. Until now it's been an easy gig. Wear a Suit, get fed well, sit on a balcony at a country club and prevent kids from getting their Prom Swerve On on the golf-course fairway. This year, though, it's On A Boat in Baltimore.

G - Guitar, Electric

Guitar, Electric: thing

I have two electric guitars. One is a Fender Telecaster 50th Anniversary 1969 Thinline reissue (semi-hollow body, mahogany, maple neck and fretboard... and the pickguard is starting to warp). I bought it after high school with graduation money. It plays nicely and it sounds good, and is really loud when unplugged.

The other electric I have is a half-size guitar that looks like a Strat that got hit with a shrink ray. It was put together my my friend's dad. They let me borrow it when I went to Wales so I'd have something to play (through my PigNose). I've nicknamed it "The Hatchet" because it's too little to properly be called an "Axe"

W - Wales

Wales: place

I did study-abroad at the University of North Wales, Bangor in the fall of 1999. I chose Wales for two reasons. One was due to ancestry, the other was that no one ever thinks of Wales. At least not that much in the USA. Everyone knows England, and Ireland and Scotland have been romanticized and commodified to death, but Wales is kind of the forgotten underdog, and I liked that. I took 3 Welsh history classes, two music classes and a Welsh language class.

Wales, at least the northern part, had every shade of Green and Grey imaginable. It also has some of the coolest castles (Though historically they were built by the English to trap the Welsh in the mountains).

One of the things that helped me make my decision to move to Maryland was that the School I work at used the Welsh Flag as their emblem (despite having a Scottish Name), though I was disappointed recently when our new mascot costume was unveiled (a cartoony version of Y Ddraig Goch) and it was introduced as having "just flown in from Scotland".

P - Paint Ball

Paint Ball: activity

I've only played paint ball once in my life. It taught me two things: 1) I'd never make it as a soldier and 2)even though I'm not a huge gun fan, paintball is fun. I didn't have any camo to wear, so I had a bright colored longsleeve tie-dye shirt (the only longsleeves I could wear in the summer). I think I'd like it more if I were only playing with people I knew. I was with a group for a bachelor party, so I knew a lot of the people, but there were also regulars playing (the kinds with their own gear that play all the time) which decreased the fun for me. I'm sure I pissed them off too because I had no idea what I was doing. I also remember getting flanked and being shot in the neck (which left a welt). I think I'd like to do it again sometime.

S - South Africa

South Africa: place

I used to know a lot about South Africa's history and music. Okay, maybe not a lot, but a decent amount. I became interested in South African history during the very first class I took in college (Survey of Southern African History) which I decided to take because I had recently re-discovered Paul Simon's "Graceland" album. I ended up taking more classes in college and writing my Senior Seminar research paper on protest implications of music in South Africa. I've forgotten a lot of what I used to know, as I didn't pursue it much after graduation, but recently I've decided to relearn what I can.

I have never been to South Africa. Since it's in Africa one probably needs many shots to travel there.


SEE ALSO: Graceland, college, guitar

S - Sisters

Sisters: thing, person

I've had a variety of sisters over the years, real ones, pseudo- ones (at tciutbaw), and now, I suppose, step ones, but there's really only 1 that has stuck over the course of the last 25 years. She's pretty good at fighting and diving, being on magazine covers, day-camp directing, triumvirate forming and (so people say) singing (at important baseball games and other places), she also buys really good presents, likes dogs, says "delicious" a lot, wears dangly earrings and has mad-txting skillz. That's probably why she's the one most worth keeping around.

SEE ALSO: vegetarians, meat germs, kick-boxing, trumpet, sweaters, children, pets, easter

K - Knives

Knives: thing

Knives are really useful, but they also scare me. Especially pocket knives. I worry about closing them on my fingers. Other people with knives also scare me.

I don't have lots of fancy knives in the kitchen. Well, at least not that are mine. I have a little one and a big one. The bigger one is sort of pink-ish colored. Every once and a while it's fun to take a big cleaver to a pineapple.

Knives: person

Knives Chau is 17 years old.


SEE ALSO: fear, kitchen, weapons, Scott Pilgrim

T - Time Travel

Time Travel: thing

Time Travel is against the rules. Or at least thinking about it is. Except Bill and Ted.

SEE ALSO: movies, puzzles,

F - Friends (tv)

Friends: thing, javascript:void(0)tv show

Initially I didn't like the show "Friends". This was based on about 2 minutes that I had seen where Ross seemed annoying to me in the same way that Kramer was annoying on Seinfeld (which I hate). So I decided that I didn't like it. Then I saw the episode after the Superbowl the first season, and decided maybe it wasn't so terrible. Also I thought that Jennifer Aniston was pretty hot.

I'm glad I changed my mind, because it turned out to be a pretty fun show. Even if it went down-hill a bit after the London Wedding episode. Chandler got less funny with Monica, and Ross totally messed up when he didn't marry the really hot British Woman Named Emily. It was still a good show after all that though.

SEE ALSO: TV, warped perception of reality, accents, quotability