P - Prom

Prom: thing, event

I only went to prom my senior year. I went because I wanted an excuse to go to Red Lobster for dinner (because I'm classy). Luckily, I went with a good friend and had a lot of fun (there was a Limo, and, yes, Red Lobster). The theme was "Moondance" like the Van Morrison song, which was very fortunate, as the following year was, I believe, some sort of miserable "Titanic" theme. For after-prom, a few friends came over to my house and we watched "Catch-22".

I've been a Prom Chaperone for the past few years. Until now it's been an easy gig. Wear a Suit, get fed well, sit on a balcony at a country club and prevent kids from getting their Prom Swerve On on the golf-course fairway. This year, though, it's On A Boat in Baltimore.

G - Guacamole

Guacamole: thing, food

Guacamole rarely needs more than 3 things: Avocado, Lemon Juice, a pinch of salt. I say rarely, rather than never, because diced tomato is good every once and awhile, or maybe Lime and cilantro.

I had never had guacamole, that I can remember, until I worked at the Hacienda del Sol. Occasionally it would be my job to make the Guac (which is how I got the super secret recipe you see above), but I was often chastised for not putting in enough Salt (same criticism of my chip frying skills). If it was night time I'd often go out and throw the pits at the wall in the empty lot next-door.

SEE ALSO: Hacienda, Angry Singing Cannibal Monkeys,