Y - Yogurt

Yogurt: thing, food

I had never seen or heard of yogurt until I was 5 or 6 years old and a babysitter brought some over for herself as a snack. I remember asking "What is that new food?"

I like plain yogurt the best. It is an important ingredient in all smoothies. In college I'd sometimes have oatmeal with pink yogurt for breakfast when I lived in Evans (and the Evans dining hall still existed).

SEE ALSO: Evans, pudding,

M - Metrodome

Metrodome - place

It may have been reviled by baseball purists, but I have fond memories of the Metrodome, and I'll miss it next year. I liked the Big Blue Baggie, the old plexi-glass and the wind that pushed you out of the doors at the end of the game. Outdoor baseball is nice, but when you have to travel 3 hours to get to a game, the threat of rain-out (or snow-out if it's play-off/world series season) is a real deterrent. I don't care if they're ugly, Minnesota needs a retractable roof.

I liked that it pretty much remained the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome (named to honor a person, rather than advertise a sponsor). I saw a World Series Game and an ALCS game in the Dome. I sat in a luxury box (and a press-box, but that was for football, and was a debacle). And I'm proud of the Twins undefeated-at-the-dome World Series record.

Like it or hate it, the 'Dome was the 10th man for the Twins, and, as pretty as the house that Joe Better Build is going to be, I think it will take away soem of that home-team advantage that the Twins used to have. I'm also biased, because I think that all of the new-style super-ballparks are way too theme-park-ish (all you need for food is Natchos, Frosty Malts, Hotdogs, Peanuts etc. and over-priced beer... you're going to a Baseball Game to watch Baseball, not out to a fancy dinner). I'm not big on the gimmickness of many of them. I'll reserve Judgement on Target Corporation (tm) Corporate Ball Field until I see a game there.

(I do have to say, despite being the home of the Orioles, Camden is decent for a new-style ballpark.)

SEE ALSO: Noise, Baseball, Home Shopping,

S - Sailing

Sailing: action

I taught myself to sail a Sunfish at A-camp-that-I-used-to-be-affiliated-with. They had a few boats, and my friend Carlos would always go sailing whenever he had free time and it made me jealous. I went on a few rides with people who knew what they were doing, and then eventually just decided to try it myself. I can really only manage a Sunfish, or other single-sailed boats, but that's all I'd want to do. I can't imagine sailing a big boat on big-water anyways. It doesn't appeal to me. Sunfish are easy to fix if they flip, and it's almost kind of fun to flip them.

One of my favorite things that happened while sailing was losing to Carlos in Squirt-Gun "Tag / Assasin" while dueling in two sailboats in the middle of the lake. I had a less maneuverable boat, and he was a much better sailor, but it was still epic.

As a "graduation present" for getting my Masters degree, my Mom got me a used Sunfish to add to the Pike Lake Fleet. She also helped re-finish all the wooden parts, which was awesome. It has a red white and blue sail that had a few mouse holes in that I patched with some fish-shaped patches. Now I still have access to a sailboat in the summer, even though the size and shape and orientation of Pike Lake make it kind of weird for sailing, it's still a lot of fun.

SEE ALSO: Pike Lake, gifts, tag, Fish, dates

X - X-men

X-men: people (fictional), comics

I started getting into comics in the early nineties, via my neighbors, right around the time that X-Men #1 (the Claremont / Jim Lee, multiple variant cover, top selling comic of all time one) came out. The X-men had cool mutant powers, and not only was there action, but there was also soap-operatic drama, and I liked that they were students (at one point) at a boarding school. The women were all drawn to be hot (which is par for the course for many comics), but they also kicked ass just as much as any other characters.
Then Jim Lee jumped ship to help create Image comics, so I stopped reading X-men and moved on to WildC.A.T.S.

I picked up reading X-men comics in the early 2000s, borrowing friends copies of the Grant Morrison run, and collecting X-treme X-Men (because it had Psylocke and Beast in it (though they killed her)) even though Claremont was past his prime by that point.

The X-men cartoons have all been pretty decent (Except the new one that has "Wolverine" in the title... I don't like Wolverine), and the first two X-men movies were not too bad either.

SEE ALSO: school fiction, Woodland

E - Endocrine System

Endocrine System: thing

In 6th grade we had to do an in-class project on the systems of the body. My group had the Endocrine system. We traced a body on news-print, drew the different glands, and made up a high-quality 6th grade rap song called "The Endocrine Man" (which was exactly as good as you'd expect it to be).

SEE ALSO: Nettleton, Rap

F - Fingers

Fingers: thing, body part

I was once told that I had "Neanderthal Figures," and it stung. They aren't that stubby, and the knuckles aren't that hairy, but I secretly wish that I had longer, more dextrous (or more sinister) fingers, and I'm jealous of people that have them. I feel like I'd be better at guitar, bass, trumpet, etc. with better fingers, though I make do with what I've got.

I enjoy playing finger-picked guitar (on nylon strings), I think I'm probably better at that than any other kind of guitar playing (which isn't saying much), but it's hard to play real classical pieces, or things I don't make up on my own. I like playing "Blackbird" at bluegrass speed (sorry, Beatles purists). My fingers aren't good for piano playing.

SEE ALSO: Glasses, mittens,

B - Banjo

Banjo: thing, instrument

My friend Jeremy got a banjo when we were in High School. That made him cooler than he already was. Once he got older and had some children, he let me borrow it for awhile. Then I got my own Banjo for my birthday. I don't really know how to play it like a Banjo. I fake it with some guitar finger-picking patterns that I know, and that sounds cool enough most of the time. I've tried to teach myself actual Banjo rolls, but it's frustrating and humbling. I'll never be Bela Fleck, either.

Banjos make pretty much any kind of music better if used well.

Charles Schulz once wrote in a "Peanuts" strip that every child should be issued a Dog and a Banjo at birth. It might make the world a better place.

"Frog and Banjo" is a great Mike Doughty song.

SEE ALSO: Fingers, Norway, Fat Boys, Peanuts

# - 63

63: number

When I learned my multiplication tables 7x9 was my favorite product (and it still is). I don't know why. 63 just feels like a number that shouldn't be made out of other numbers, but, obviously, it is.

If I ever ask you to pick a number between one and one hundred, it's very likely I'm thinking of 63.

Aside from being the product of 7 and 9, it is also 79-(7+9). 6+3 = 9

SEE ALSO: numbers, 7, 9, 16, 79, 97, math

G - Guacamole

Guacamole: thing, food

Guacamole rarely needs more than 3 things: Avocado, Lemon Juice, a pinch of salt. I say rarely, rather than never, because diced tomato is good every once and awhile, or maybe Lime and cilantro.

I had never had guacamole, that I can remember, until I worked at the Hacienda del Sol. Occasionally it would be my job to make the Guac (which is how I got the super secret recipe you see above), but I was often chastised for not putting in enough Salt (same criticism of my chip frying skills). If it was night time I'd often go out and throw the pits at the wall in the empty lot next-door.

SEE ALSO: Hacienda, Angry Singing Cannibal Monkeys,

C - Cheerleaders

Cheerleaders: thing, people

I was in band in high school. Part of pep band meant making fun of Cheerleaders (except the cool ones that were guys from Band (yes, I said, "cool," and "guy cheerleaders" in the same sentence).
Most of our band cheers involved milk of some kind, usually replacing key words in actual cheers.
("What about our Colors? Red/Grey" became "What about our Milk? skim/2%".


SEE ALSO: heroes, Heroes, Milk, Pi

G - Gas Station

Gas Station: place

I love pay-at-the-pump. As long as I've owned a car, I've never gone into the gas station to pay for gas.

I strongly dislike when people have to leave their car at the pump to go in to pay. I am not patient in that way (and it means I have to idle and waste gas and pollute more).

There was a "Food'n'Fuel" two blocks up from my home when I was little. It was a treat to get to walk there and get candy. Only very very rarely was I allowed to go alone. It is gone now that the city of Duluth has fixed the ridiculously deadly multi-intersection that it was a part of.

I do not like that the BP station nearest to my house advertises the Gas Price and the "Gas Price with purchase of a carwash" price on their sign. Their carwash is crappy (and not worth saving 20c per gallon). It is convenient though.

U - Ukulele

Ukulele: thing, instrument

A few years ago I bought two Ukuleles, a soprano and a tenor, with some Birthday money. They weren't very expensive. I like them because they're simple to play if you know how to play guitar, epecially since they have only 4 strings (and I have four non-thumb fingers on each hand).

My more talented brother also got a nicer ukulele and I made him be in a ukulele duo with me as we traveled halfway across the country.

It's really, really easy to play the Super Mario Invincibility Theme on a uke. I like to pretend that it's okay to run around and knock people over as long as you're playing it.

Ukuleles have been finding their way into popular culture more and more lately, and I'd like to preserve my credibility by saying that I bought my ukes before I realized this (not that it would have stopped me).

SEE ALSO: Gas stations, Video Games, Fingers

M - Milk

Milk: thing, beverage

When at all possible I drink Skim Milk. I like to drink it after a work-out, or with oreo cookies, or cereal. I rarely drink it on its own. I don't dislike the other types (people who are picky about milk type, like non-crust-eaters, are a big pet-peeve of mine (though occasionally I am that guy)), but I choose Skim 95% of the time. Whole milk is a special treat.

I also like Soy Milk and Almond Milk and sometimes buy those.

I miss referring to Milk by the color of the cap. I disliked drinking milk out of a carton because of the wet flaky paper, which was especially bad if you didn't get a good clean opening on the first try. I preferred the bag-milk because you got a straw and you could inflate them into 'footballs' afterward (though they were far more dangerous for pranks and hooliganism).

I got in trouble in Kindergarten for being vocally proud of myself for finishing my entire Milk carton for the second consecutive day. Lesson: never be proud of yourself for drinking milk.

I remember using empty Milk Jugs as swimming aids when I was very young.

At the-camp-I-used-to-be-affiliated-with, I remember going on a crusade to get some friends to drink Milk at meals instead of Mountain Dew. I even made a Milk(tm) poster of myself (with Hans' help). I'll post it if I find it.

Milk provides Calcium, which makes strong bones, including spine bones. Bones are white and milk is white, and the color white is the color of the pure-driven snow (and the color of purity, but NOT for racial reasons). Therefore it was an official beverage of the Fat Boy Society and THEOOTBSC.

SEE ALSO: secret societies, Cheerleaders

K - Kindergarten

Kindergarten: place

My Kindergarten teacher's name was Mrs. Kresky. I went to Lincoln Elementary School for half-day Kindergarten. I remember learning the difference between Paste and Glue (I ate neither, though paste smelled good). I remember getting a "Sad Face" pinned on me for exclaiming how excited I was that I finished my Milk for the second day in a row (Milk Break was silent time) and I remember I would never again wear the grey, red and blue sweatpants/sweatshirt combo that I wore when I got it. I remember that my Mom got a call from the teacher because I didn't have a set bed-time.

When I worked on an elementary school playground Kindergarten was my favorite age group. I also realized then and there that I would not want to ever be indoors with Kindergarteners. They have the potential to be the most fun, but also the most work (as I learned as a Day Camp director at the-camp-I-used-to-be-affiliated-with).

"Kindergarten" is also the title of a great Faith No More song.

SEE ALSO: arts&crafts, Faith No More, Milk